Why is it better to be a woman...

- We got off the Titanic first.

- We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

- Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous whereas guys look like complete idiots in ours.

- We can be groupies - male groupies are stalkers.

- We can cry and get off speeding fines.

- We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

- Taxis stop for us.

- Men die earlier - so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

- Free drinks, free dinners, free movies... (you get the point).

- We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

- We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

- New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

- If we have a spot - we know how to conceal it.

- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

- If we're dumb - some people will find it cute.

- We have the ability to dress ourselves.

- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

- If we marry someone 20 years younger - we're aware that we look like an idiot.

- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

- There are times when chocolate really *can* solve all your problems.

- We'll never regret piercing our ears.

- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

- We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

- It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

- We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

- If we forget to shave - no one has to know.

- We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

- We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.