Serenity...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they p*ssed me off.

And also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work - 14% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 18% on Thursday, 5% on Friday! ;)

And help me to remember that when I'm having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to p*ss me off that it takes 42 muscles to frown

... and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me!